...is trying to find a job

"You just gotta get out there" "75% of all the jobs are not visible" "A lot of jobs are created when you go to a company and present yourself"

All of this is probably true about job searching. I agree with most of them (the 75% one was presented at a seminar I went to this week, but I'm not sure if those are exact numbers) but it doesn't help me. Searching for a job is a mental challenge. You have to present yourself as this "super person" who is everything the company is looking for. You have to visit, make phone calls, write endless amounts of letters that are all customized for each application, make sure that it "stands out" from all the others...the list goes on.

People say you just gotta go ahead and do it and that it becomes easier with time, but I would like to claim the opposite. You sit there with your laptop and you write application after application, a never ending stream of words. And at one point, you have no idea where you've sent stuff, who you've talked to, when I went where and what day it is. Days turns into weeks and the way you measure all of this is by what day you're watching a certain tv-show with your parents. All of a sudden you've been living at home, with your folks for two months and you still haven't been called for an interview, all that is in your inbox is "thank you for your interest in this position, but we've found someone else."

How does this make a person stronger? How is it that it will "get easier" when you try your best and you just get turned down? Human beings are dependent on positivity, or they will soon get very down and if it goes very far, depressed. Stuck in darkness. Not being able to get up in the morning.

I wrote this a week or so ago. When things felt hopeless, and I wanted people to try to understand all the frustration I felt. It's not easy to apply for jobs when you don't have much education. It's hard trying to think positive and keep on swimming with your head above the surface. 

But you know what? I've managed. I've finally got an interview. Thursday is the day and it's for being a substitute teacher in english and maybe music too. I'm hoping I'll get it, cause taking voice lessons in stockholm isn't very cheap (but oh so worth it). So let's keep all fingers crossed, okay?